Adulthood So Late In Life

Lately I’m feeling so depressed. It’s like there is a void in my heart. I started to notice that I have lost that special feeling of excitement that I experienced as a child. The kind of excitement that causes me to sleep early so that I would wake up the next day and go fishing. Not fishing in a nearby river mind you, but in a small pond in a paddy field inhabit by leeches and getting there my mom and I have to walk a few hours on foot under the morning sun. Hmm.. what else? Ya, like the pleasure of eating raw green mango with salt, watching marching ants being eaten by frogs, listening to raindrops hitting the zinc roof, the smell of wet leaves, bathing in the river and watching cartoons on Saturday and Sunday.

What is happening to me? Is this adulthood or something else? Slowly but surely loosing earthly pleasures for the ‘next’ stage of life? Ya, something is definitely numbing… I am determined to hold that ‘child’ in me for a long as I can.

Hari Yang Panas...

Ini la akibatnya menghuni pejabat yang dah lama, pakai aircon lama.
Bila hangkang saja aircon, suma staff menderita kepanasan. Adeh...
Technician tu bilang, mo mo pun satu minggu juga baru ok.
What to do.. kena rely on kipas angin.
Kesian kitaorang :p

Gila Kuasa ("Ugly" Inside)

I'm in the position of power Muah!Ha!Ha!Ha! (gila kuasa dah budak ni.. hehe).

Actually I want to ask God for forgiveness for raising my voice to my colleague the other day. Sampai sekarang saya rasa so 'ugly' inside. I don't want to apologise to her, as she deserved to be scolded. She thinks that she can order me to use my power to force other people to do her work. Well think again. Common la madam, mana boleh macam tu. We are all friends ba in this small office. Bukan orang nda mo tolong dia wat kerja tapi dia ni kan terlampau cerewet.

Madam B intercom me, “Ko tinguk ba si Ron tu, ikut diorang pigi minum, tapi bila saya minta dia tolong saya, dia bilang - saya busy. Tapi ada juga masa mo pigi minum”. I noticed that the time was teatime and this Ron had gone down with 2 other staffs.

Me, hands still busy with paperwork, ear on phone intercom: “Ba, ko cakap la sama dia nanti bila dia balik. Tanya kenapa dia ada masa pigi minum tapi nda ada masa mo tolong ko”.

Madam B: “Ko la cakap sama dia. Itu kerja admin”.

Kerja Admin!!?? I blew my top big time. So very angry tau. I told her, “Ko ingat saya bodoh nda tau kerja saya? Pernah saya bagitau ko apa kerja ko?” Just imagine this Madam B is a head of a section herself but was disliked by her subordinates because she pushes most of the work to them. She evens pushes her section’s work to the Secretary. I know this because her subordinates pour their dissatisfactions to me almost everyday. I used to work in that section for many years before she joined the company, and I definitely can do her work. Tapi cuba la kalau dia boleh buat kerja saya wahahaha.. jadi gila maybe :p

Anyway.. dipendekkan cerita. I did confronted Ron the very next day. I sengaja lagi cakap kuat kuat bagi dia dengar. I asked Ron, “Apa ba yang ko nda tolong Si Madam B tu Ron?” Wuiii.. bukan main mengamok lagi si Ron. Abis dia bangkit suma hal lama yang dia pernah tolong Si Madam B ni macam masa dia basah kena hujan sebab tolong Madam B waktu keta rosak and time dia tolong antar makanan pigi sekolah anak Madam B dan banyak lagi la.

Ko tau apa Madam B cakap? “Bukan begitu ba maksud saya Ron….bla..bla..bla..” Sweet sweet lagi. Hmm… betul la dia ni. Takut imej dia buruk tapi memang pun sudah buruk.

Note: Despite her behaviour, we still tolerate her because we still consider her a friend. Hey.. what is life without sugar and spice. Gula dan garam. Cuka dan lada :p

K la… nda mo cakap lagi. Saja saya tulis in Malay arini wat praktis. Tapi maaflah jadi rojak buah pula. Hehe…

What My Boyfriend's Birthday Says About Him :p

Hehe.. sayang, remember that I love you k... ehe :D

The general description about this person is talented, persistent, nourishing, supportive, sacrificing, mild, observing and detail-minded.

One word for people born in this month is prudent.

These people appear to be easy going and behave in a mild manner. They are often generous and sympathetic to other people. This type of person can be very friendly and convincing; they often persuade people to believe that they have unique qualities and knowledge that others do not have. They are very prudent and detail- oriented. They have necessary patience and faith to accomplish their goals, which require extensive time to accomplish. They are very sensitive and can be easily hurt. When they become emotionally involved, they become very jealous and biased. These people tend to be overly cautious and always lose the opportunities to become successful. They are very permissible and easily influence by others. They tend to worry all the time and are very moody. They may suffer silently and are always misjudged by other people. They handle money carefully and accumulate wealth in small increments.

What My Birthday Says About Me

I've got this from a reading of my birth date (hehe.. computer generated). See what I mean about the bit about being a very careful person at the bottom of this reading? Ha... confirmed what I said about me being a paranoid person. Don't know about being able to read other people's mind though. Telepathy or instinct? Dunno la.

The general description about this person is stormy, passionate, independent, intuitive, diplomatic, social, clever, free, leadership, energetic, self-motivating and ambitious.

One word for people born in this month is energetic.

These people are very intelligent and charming. Their minds are usually active, whimsical and can react very fast. They tend to be quick to sense new trends. Their enthusiasm combined with their talent and ambition will help them in achieving their goals. They can pursue numerous goals persistently at the same time. These people tend to do well on their own; they work well in a free-lance capacity where they can move around freely and do whatever they want. They do not want to stay in one place for long, while they are always seeking something new. They are very sociable and able to get along with people. Their connections with other are good, as they know how to read other people’s minds. However, they are extremely cautious and do not trust people easily. Because they are so careful, they are slow in making decisions. They are conscientious about money and very conservative in investment.

Vanessa

This is Vanessa or Didel her mom (Gracy) nicknamed her. I just love her exquisite smile and can't help but post her picture here cause she's so adorable. Comel sangat :)

Be Fair (Bersikap Adil)

Today I am writing this to remind myself never to treat new person who comes into my life as having the same trait as people whom I’ve met in the past. I hereby acknowledge that I am overly suspicious of people. Hmm…what’s the right word for it? I am PARANOID! Ya…. That is it. Here’s the wonderful definition of that interesting word hehe..

par´a`noid`

(Med.) Affected with paranoia; as, a paranoid schizophrenic.

Suffering from delusions of being persecuted by the conspiratorial actions of others; having an unwarranted suspicion of the motives of others; - used loosely in a negative sense, not as a medical term; as, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you.

I’m not sure if Malay or my native language, the Dusun Tindal has a word for it. I have never came across this word in both languages. The closest I can recall is “sukar untuk mempercayai” or “Ou do milo tungkayanon”. In my country, if a person becomes overly suspicious of others, they are just teased as “penakut” or timid. Err.. sometime the word “gila” or crazy will be uttered depending on the occasion hehe..

Yes, from now on I have to be fair and give newcomers the benefit of doubt.

Bie, if you’re reading this, I am truly sorry and ashamed for what happened the other day. Hope you’ll forgive me. Thanks for the heavy verbal whoopin’ that I deserved and for accepting me as who I am, not afraid to fine-tune me a bit hehe… and for your patience and love.. aiseyy.. :p

Nice Three Bears..

Owwwh my Goodness! Someone had read and left
comments on my blogs (what a nice surprise). Hehe..
rasa macam cite Goldilocks and the Three Bears lak.
Orang baik2 lak tu. Ermm.. thanks Nik and Nike :)

Verandah

I just love verandahs. This one's my current favourite (from some travel magazine).

The Day Before Holiday

It's affirmative, the day before the holiday is definitely cursed. Why? Everything seems to go wrong during this time. My workmate's printer and mine, went kaput all of a sudden and the darned phone hasn't stopped ringing since I stepped into the office this morning. Why oh why today of all days? "Alamakk.. die la camni' Fixing the malfunctioned equipment and answering calls took precious time and disturbed my mental to-do list. By this hour, this very minute, I am already dead beat tired and a holiday is what I really need :))

My Very First Blog

Can't believe that I've finally decided to open my very own blog site.