Adulthood So Late In Life

Lately I’m feeling so depressed. It’s like there is a void in my heart. I started to notice that I have lost that special feeling of excitement that I experienced as a child. The kind of excitement that causes me to sleep early so that I would wake up the next day and go fishing. Not fishing in a nearby river mind you, but in a small pond in a paddy field inhabit by leeches and getting there my mom and I have to walk a few hours on foot under the morning sun. Hmm.. what else? Ya, like the pleasure of eating raw green mango with salt, watching marching ants being eaten by frogs, listening to raindrops hitting the zinc roof, the smell of wet leaves, bathing in the river and watching cartoons on Saturday and Sunday.

What is happening to me? Is this adulthood or something else? Slowly but surely loosing earthly pleasures for the ‘next’ stage of life? Ya, something is definitely numbing… I am determined to hold that ‘child’ in me for a long as I can.