Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Selamat Hari Berkasih Sayang :-)

Building A Lifelong Love Affair
by T. W. Winslow


Recently I received a letter from a young man who had been married only a few years. He was seeking advice for what to do with a marriage which had seemingly lost the spark and excitement it once had. He was finding his marriage dull and routine, and was looking for an excuse to seek fulfillment elsewhere. This young man's dilemma is certainly not unique. Just look at the staggering divorce rates in this country if you don't believe me. Fortunately, there is a simple solution to this problem.

My advice to this young man was the same as it is for all others experiencing similar difficulties in their relationships. Relationships are like anything else, the more time and effort we put into them, the more successful they will be. If our marriages and other relationships seem unsatisfying, we must first look at what we are putting into these relationships, rather than what we're getting out of them. We can't expect more from a relationship than we're willing to put into it.

When we're first courting, our infatuation with the other person leads us to be romantic and prone to outward signs of affection. We write love letters, spend hours talking about our deepest feelings and thoughts, we hold hands in public, and say sweet things for no reason, etc. Unfortunately, as the relationship continues and we begin to focus more on other things and less on our partner, the relationship loses its initial spark and we begin to feel a loss of love, intimacy and excitement. This doesn't mean our love is fading or the relationship has less to offer, it simply means we've forgotten to keep the love alive.

We all can recapture the excitement, love, and intimacy our relationships once had, and without a major overhaul. Simply putting forth a little effort each day can make all the difference in the world. When was the last time you woke up, turned to your partner and told them you loved them? Or called them at the office for no other reason than to say you missed them? If you need ideas, just think back to the things you did when you were first dating. It won't take long for your partner to notice your renewed affection, and suddenly you'll find them returning these gestures of love. Soon the relationship you once questioned will have taken on a whole new sense of fulfillment, love, and intimacy.

We all can have a lifelong love affair with our partners, we simply need to remember to put into the relationship what we want out of it.

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