I want to remember these abusive words hurled at me from the youngest sister who I used to kiss her cheek and let her sleep on my lap when she felt dizzy. Paid her universities fees, sewn her clothes, cooked, fed her and let her stay with me at my house. Helped her decide which shoes, dress to buy and supported her in anything even when I strongly disapproved.
Unfortunately, even through all these 28 years of her life, she still expects me to solve all her problems and clean the mess she made in life.
She sms’ed:
“Suka hati la. Sa resign la, ko ksi makan sa.”
(I will do as I pleased. If I resign, you will have to feed me)
“Ko budu ka ni sa ksi mati ko”.
(Are you stupid? I will kill you).
“Ko jgn ksi gila sa mau ikt otak budu ko”.
(Don’t make me crazy with that stupid brain of yours)
“Kalau ko nda mampu tolg sa jgn byk cakp setan!"
(If you can’t help me, don’t talk much you devil!)
“Eh setan, sa ingat jga hutang sa bah, Cuma krismas, ko satu sen pn tiada kuar duit sa yg beribu2 jd ko diam, 2 smua utk krismas suda lalu sa tida peduli jga. Kalau ko nda dpt tolg sa ko diam, abg tolg sa biar la dia suka dia". Time 4:17pm, 3 Jan 2011
(Eh Devil, I remember all the money I owed you, but you didn’t forked out a single cents for Christmas. I spent thousands. So shut up. It was all for Christmas, so I don’t care. If you can’t help me then shut up. If brother wants to help me, it’s up to him.)
She was supposed to return teaching in Sandakan on Monday, 3rd January 2011 but was not able to fly for whatever reason she does not want to tell me. I suspected that she’d run out of money to buy airline ticket or perhaps delayed because she does not want to leave her DJ boyfriend and friends. She hinted for me to use my credit card for the purchase which irritated me because it showed that I was right that she’d be out of money by the time the two-month school holiday’s over.
When the holiday started, she’d received a substantial amount of back wage plus allowances i.e. since August 2010. When she started spending the money like water, I had advised her to reserve some money for her flight back to Sandakan. Instead, she decided to splurge to beautify herself with slimming treatment, rebonding and colouring her hair, buying expensive shoes, clothes, giving money to her friends and decorating my house for Christmas just to show off to her friends. I didn’t objected to her having her friends come to the house for Christmas as I was off to my other sister’s place to give presents and celebrating Christmas with my small nephews. When I came home, I didn’t mingle with her friends as I felt out of place. The next day, there were some leftover foods in the freezer but she told me not to eat the steamed fish because she wanted to bring out some for her boyfriend. I felt hurt because I was the one who gutted the big fish early in the morning whilst suffering from a throbbing headache because of my period. But I let it be. The day after, I just let the fish and other dishes rot until she finally decided to throw them away. Never in a million years had I thought that she would regard me as a greedy person. I live my life with integrity. All her foods in my freezer were left intact until they rot and have to be thrown away. I always bought all the groceries and cooked and shared food with her... and she treated me like shit. It made me so sad.
My brother and his family spent two nights at my house during the New Year 2011. She was out celebrating the New Year with her friends during those two nights. She didn’t even bother to come home to see my brother who’d drove 8 hours all the way from Lahad Datu. But when the time come for her to return to Sandakan, she phoned my brother who by that time was already in our village in Kota Belud to come and collect her during the rainy night at my house because she wanted to join him in his car for the trip back to Lahad Datu, and stopping in Sandakan to send her to a hotel.
That made me really mad. How dare she ask my brother to drive and fetch her at night, raining, with poor eyesight and with his wife and small children in the car! His youngest is only 5 months old for God sake!
After that sms message, I really really wanted to kick her out of my house. But the thought of my late mom stopped me. Heaven help me for one day I will lose it! I pray to the Lord that she would get married soon with her DJ boyfriend or with whoever that would be able to stand her and be out of my life. I need my peace again. Amen.
Why did I wrote this family affair in my blog? I am a forgiving person. This entry will remind me not to let my guard off, not to be nice to her and be wary of her antics in future.
Update:
31 Jan 2011 ~ My sister's back for the Chinese New Year 2011 holiday. She tried to be nice to me like offering me a ride to work this morning. But, I curtly declined. Then silently, I cried in the bus I was travelling to work. It's not my nature not to forgive but I had to so that she'll remember in future not to easily spit out disrespectful words towards her siblings or anyone for that matter. She's 28 years old, temperamental is not an excuse anymore.
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